The Decision
I've been avoiding making this post for quite some time and have even considered taking the blog private. I still may. Most of my close friends and family know that June was a very difficult month for me, as I made the decision to decline my referral. I knew that there was always the possibility, but until you walk in those shoes, you can never know how gut-wrenching it is. I have learned alot. I have met people online who helped quide and support me. It is scary. It is exhausting. It is awful. I have cried over this decision because it is one no one ever wants to make, but in the end, it was the right decision for me and for this little girl. Rest assured, she will be chosen by a family.
So for now, I've used this time to heal my heart so that when the time comes, I will be ready and open for my next referral.
posted by Sharon @ 8:42 PM
12 Comments:
Sharon,
You are an amzingly strong women who made a decison that no one thinks they will have to make. I am sorry for the pain you had to go through but I know that things are about to turn around for you!
I am an anonymos poster and I am glad you did not make things private just so I could tell you that I think you are one of the bravest and least selfish people I could imagine.
To make a decision like this, that is obviously the right one for this little girl, rather than thinking that you HAVE to do this and "how will it look" is such an inspiration. Thank you for being willing to "put it out there".
You should be so so proud of yourself!
Sharon,
All the pain and sorrow you had to go through will lead you to your daughter.
I know the second guessing and wondering but you did the right thing. The power of being able to say she is not my daughter is so much bigger then being afraid to.
Hang in there Maryalice is coming.
Sandi
Sharon, You are an inspiration to all of your friends and to those who only know you through your blog. I can speak for your friends when I say we are here for you and will be for MaryAlice. Your decision was certainly not easy or painless but you did what is best for all concerned. Please know we support you always....
All our love
Susan and Riz
Sharon, you are an amazing women! I have thought about you a lot during the last month and wish I could have reached out to you. Thanks for posting because I have checked daily wanting to know how you are doing. I can only imagine how painful the decision was. You have amazing strength. You are wonderful...
Hugs and God Bless
Hello from Spain,
Im very sorry to hear what have you been through. I know is being a very difficult decition to make but I bealive is the right one. I know you dont know me but please be sure you have a friend in Spain if you need it.
Rocio wwwblogdeloto.blogspot.com
You are a very strong woman. You do not know me either, but I wish I had the strength you do. A few years ago I decided I wanted to be a foster parent, I was only 21, I know that is young but I love children and I thought it was the right decision. They offered me a 15 year old girl and instead of having the courage to say "NO I know this isnt right for me" I went ahead and agreed. Unfortunately things did not work out, and my life has not been the same since. I thought I would feel guilty for declining a girl a home, but I know it ultimately was a horrible decision for us both. God Bless you for having the strength, caourage, and faith to know when to say NO when you knew it was the right answer. You will be in my prayers...
Thank you for not going private. Us in line really appreciate it. You thinking and caring about this little one is such an inspiration. I would hope I would have the same strength as you did to be able to make the right decision.
Tonya
We love you, support you and are always here for you. Always ... all ways. We are so sorry you had to go through this unimaginable pain and grief. We hope the reason will some day be clear.
Huge Panda Hugs ....Lori & Andy
As a single woman who also waited about 3 years for a referral, I can't imagine being in your position... especially knowing that China has literally slammed the door on us single gals now. You showed a bravery that many of us are probably wondering if we would be able to show under similar circumstances.
I wish you peace.
Parenthood is a huge step and if you have any uncertainty at all, it's best to not move forward. It sounds like you've made the right decision for yourself and your future daughter.
It is amazing how God orchestrates the steps through our journey to parenthood. Thank you for allowing us to pray for and encourage you. Congratulations on your new referral ~ your daughter is beautiful! We look forward to following your journey!
(((hugs)))
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